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Coping with a Family Member with Autism Spectrum Disorder

15 June 2025

Every family has a mix of different relationships and problems that make it hard for the family to work together. In families where one child has ASD, the relationships between family members may be affected by the unique challenges and problems that the family faces. Because people with autism see and understand the world in different ways, it is first and foremost important to learn about our family member's unique traits in order to better understand them and meet their specific needs.

Make friends with them, speak clearly, give them time to think about what you are saying, be patient, and respect their need for personal space. These things will help their health. Promoting the growth of personal interests, making learning easier, and helping them become independent are all good things to do. But it is also important to remember the other kids in the family (if there are any) and even work on how you get along with them. Working with qualified professionals to make a family care plan that works for everyone is possible and a good idea. This will make things easier for everyone and make the home atmosphere better.

As you get older, you should think about how you will fit in with society and find work in the future. You should also look into your military service options. Try to build on their great skills and find ways to help them grow. You can count on professional advice to help you make a well-thought-out plan for the stages of life change and becoming independent.

Even though it is hard, this journey together builds stability, hope, and family strength. It also helps your child with special needs reach their full potential and live a full life.

In every family, regardless of whether the family is small or large, there are diverse relationships and various complexities that affect family functioning. The family unit is critically important and meaningful for each and every one of us, and we all yearn to feel warmth and love, support and belonging, understanding and acceptance in it. Realistically, however, such harmony does not always exist, and more than a few families face unique situations and complex challenges.

The article below discusses how families cope with a family member with ASD. How to cope with difficulties that arise in the home and within family relationships and how to properly respond to various and unusual patterns of behavior. How to help and support the family member who has ASD and what is important to know to satisfy their unique needs, maximize their individual potential and achieve quality of life.

Of course, there are significant differences between people with autism who are high functioning and people with autism who are low functioning, but everyone deserves to receive support, understanding and an equal opportunity to live a full and meaningful life.

Understanding diversity

First of all, it is important to remember that people with ASD perceive the world differently from us. They may have trouble with social communication and understanding social cues, may be hypersensitive or hyposensitive to sensory stimuli, have difficulty with changes in routine and focus on specific areas of interest in a particular way or tend to adhere to repetitive patterns of behavior. All of these behaviors are possible but not mandatory. Each person with ASD, in fact, has a personal array of characteristics and it is important to treat each and every one of them as an individual. Since people with ASD perceive the world differently, it is important first and foremost to get to know the unique characteristics of our family members to better understand them and provide an adequate response to their unique needs.

Developing a relationship

Establishing a positive and supportive relationship with a family member who has ASD is key to continuing good development and ensuring their well-being. The foundation is created by establishing good communication, which can be achieved with the help of a few simple actions:

  • Make sure to use clear, precise language with short sentences (depending, of course, on age and level of function).
  • Allow for time to process information and issue a response.
  • Be patient and attentive, even when communication is challenging (particularly when the person has limited language and communication capabilities).
  • Respect the need for personal space.

Furthermore, it is important to take into account the unique challenges and needs of the family member. Try to become familiar with the triggers and the things that calm them down, and of course, make sure to listen and consider their feelings, even if they express themselves in atypical ways.

Support and empowerment

The family plays a critical role in the advancement and development of a family member with ASD. Several actions can be taken to facilitate their personal progress and empowerment:

  • Encourage the family member to develop personal areas of interest.
  • Provide opportunities for learning and gaining experience.
  • Help enter social groups in school and in after-school clubs that center around personal interests.
  • Support independence to the extent possible.
  • Positively mention achievements and successes (even if they are small).

Additionally, it is also important to remember the other children of the family, and not just the child with ASD. The other children in the home need to be seen, have their needs listened to and be paid attention to. Try to foster a positive relationship with them and maintain open communication. Share feelings and help them cope.

Caring for all family members

It is important to talk about different parts of the family when talking about individual treatment.

Care of the family member with ASD

Obtaining a professional evaluation and formulating an individual treatment plan is critical. The therapeutic plan may involve medical and behavioral therapies, occupational therapy, speech pathology, etc. It is important to cooperate with the professional team and implement the recommendations that are given to achieve developmental improvement and progress.

Care and support of other family members

Raising a child with ASD can be emotionally and physically challenging for all family members. To make it easier for everyone and to improve the atmosphere at home, you should rely on appropriate support (individual or group) and parental guidance. In addition, you can rely on other family members, such as grandparents, and involve them in coping and allowing them to help.

Cultivating the marital relationship

The struggle and difficulties of raising a child with ASD can cause a great deal of stress and disagreements between the parents. The high costs of therapies and professional support can also lead to crises and friction due to economic pressure. Try not to neglect the relationship, rely on couples therapy when necessary, and make sure to regularly nurture the relationship (like a date night once a month).

Seeing the future

Every parent knows that they always worry about their child's future and well-being. This is even more important for a child with ASD, who will probably need help and support for the rest of their lives.

As you get older, you should think about how you will fit in with society and find work, as well as your options for future military service. In the past few years, a number of programs have been created just for this group of people; for more information, read an article about the rights and services for adults with ASD. Try to build on their great skills and find ways to help them grow. Get help from a professional to make a well-thought-out plan for the stages of life change and becoming independent so you can live a good life.

Ultimately, the family journey, even if it is hard and complicated, helps keep things stable and builds up everyone's inner strength. It is important to know how to nurture the relationships in the family through open communication, understanding, patience, love and professional support. This is the only way to maintain stability, optimism and family resilience, and to help your child with special needs maximize their potential and live a full life.

Assisted in the preparation of the article: Ido Michaeli-Assor, speech pathologist, Autism Department at the Ministry of Health and director of the "Shavim" Center in Jerusalem.