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Family Members Coping Following the Suicide of a Relative

15 June 2025

The suicide of a person close to you is a traumatic and unbearably difficult event, both for the suicide victims themselves and for their family members and friends. Beyond the deep sorrow and longing, complex feelings such as guilt, shame and anger may arise. The grieving process over a person who committed suicide can slightly differ than that for other losses and requires unique support and professional assistance.

The impact on those left behind

  • Emotional difficulties: such as sadness, anxiety and anger.
  • Social difficulties: Sense of shame and stigma that may result in social withdrawal.
  • Emotional difficulties: In extreme cases, relatives may develop mental health disabilities such as PTSD or depression.
  • Prolonged mourning: Relatives of someone who committed suicide may experience complex, stable and prolonged grief that is characterized by excessive occupation with mourning as well as significant and chronic difficulties in function and a return to normal.
  • Traumatic grief: Exposure to suicide may involve Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD).

Important to know: The grieving process is personal, and the pace of recovery differs in every person. Despite the tremendous difficulty, most people manage to process the grief and recovery.

Coping with the loss

  • Recognition of emotions that arise.
  • Maintaining social relationships.
  • Physical activity, sufficient sleep and healthy diet to maintain a healthy body and soul.
  • Commemorative actions.
  • Patience and time to recover from the complex and lengthy process of healing from the loss.
  • Acceptance and forgiveness, both for yourself and for the person who committed suicide and his choice.

Seeking professional help

The suicide of someone close is an unbearable tragedy but there are ways to cope with the emotional and mental difficulties following the loss, and seeking professional help is a key step on the path to healing. You are not alone. There are people who can understand what you are going through and help you cope.

Options for helping families

  • Support groups established for people who lost a loved one to suicide.
  • Psychological therapy, through the HMO for example, can help process the grief, cope with difficult emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
  • Ministry of Welfare and Social Security help centers provide support and supervision to members of a family in which one family member committed suicide.
  • Special associations that provide assistance to family members
  • Bishvil Hahayim (Path to Life) Organization
  • ELAH Center for Coping with Loss

Following the suicide, the struggle of those left behind is just beginning. The path is difficult and complex, involving pain and grief, of each family member and the family unit as a whole. Coping with the grieving process over a person who committed suicide is similar to that of any other loss, but it does entail special characteristics. The comfort that family members and relatives need also differs in several aspects, because in addition to the traumatic event they experienced, the relatives also face the stigma of suicide, which is sometimes accompanied by shame or concealment. This article will attempt to shed light on what the relatives of the person who committed suicide are experiencing, how they can cope and what can be done to help.

Common emotions and behaviors among relatives following a suicide

Following the loss, emotions such as grief and longing arise. When the loss is attributed to suicide, family members and friends of the suicide victim can also suffer from complex emotions of guilt, anger, shame and loneliness. These feelings are common after loss but are unique, in nature or intensity, to loss attributed to suicide. It is important to emphasize that there are different reasons for these feelings, but the feelings themselves are natural, and you should give them space and, if necessary, also seek professional help to deal with them.

Shortly after the suicide, severe guilt can arise around the feeling that it could have been prevented. Maybe more help could have been given. Maybe the signs of distress should have been noticed earlier. In the initial period after the loss, the need to explain the dramatic act arises. Dealing with the last days before the suicide, in contact with the person who committed suicide, thinking about whether there were early signs, whether we could have recognized the imminent disaster, a sense of loss and self-blame - how did we not see? How did we miss this? How did we not understand? Difficult questions that may arise such as “Could I have prevented this?” or “How did I not see this coming?” Repeatedly review the weeks after the incident. These questions are common, but it may make it easier for you to know that you could not have known. Suicide is a complex event that is difficult to predict. Even experts and researchers who study the field around the clock have not yet been able to determine the factors that can help reliably predict who will commit suicide. The clues to suicide are frequently only noticed after the person has committed suicide.

Statistics and clinical expertise reveal that suicide can also occur in situations where the relatives and care providers have done everything that is necessary and possible: risk assessment, identification, referral to professionals etc. It is important to clearly state - suicide does not occur because of someone, and it is not someone's fault. People who are in distress, in crisis, who are dealing with various mental health disabilities, are occasionally unable to see other options for dealing with and solving their distress. There are many situations, therefore, in which the therapists, the family and the environment did everything they could but were unable to prevent the suicide.

Family members and relatives of the person who committed suicide can occasionally feel that the rest of the world holds them somewhat responsible for the disaster. This feeling, even when it is completely baseless, aside from the social stigma that the subject of suicide has, can trigger a strong sense of shame. It is important to know that suicide has many causes and the influence of the environment in many cases is limited. In many cases, the environment and the family did everything they could do, remained vigilance, sought treatment, etc., but nothing helped to prevent the suicide.

due to guilt and shame, family members and friends sometimes distance themselves from those close to them, leading to feelings of isolation. They may occasionally fear meeting people and fear what they will say or think about them. This behavior is understandable, but it is especially important at this time to seek help and support and to be surrounded by friends and a loving and supportive environment.

Family members and friends can feel angry at themselves, at the environment, at the therapists, and at the person who committed suicide. Anger is attributed to a variety of reasons, such as anger at themselves, who may not have done enough to prevent the suicide, anger at the environment and its reactions to the loss and also anger at the deceased and for choosing to end his life. Here too, the feeling is natural and legitimate, but it is important to note that people who committed suicide frequently suffered from intense and unbearable mental anguish and from severe mental distress that they were in, and may not have been able to see another option to deal with the distress.

sometimes after the suicide there is also a feeling of relief, since many people who committed suicide suffered from complex mental health disabilities that are accompanied by destructive behavior and frequent suicide attempts. Coping with all of this is not simple for the family. Relief is a natural and normal emotion that can be understood and sympathized with. Although the encounter with the actual suicide is painful, it also removes the threat and therefore naturally involves relief. In addition, the feeling of relief can occasionally be attributed to an understanding that the loved one is no longer suffering.

Following the suicide, there are often questions about why their loved one chose to end his life. Confronting this question is difficult and complex, and the question occasionally remains open, unanswered. It is important to emphasize that deliberating this question may help the healing process and process grief. However, as part of the grieving process, it may also be necessary to deal with not knowing, uncertainty and doubt. Initially, relatives feel that they will never be able to stop confronting this question, but in most cases, over time the question becomes less and less intrusive.

Special characteristics of grief over a person who committed suicide

Grief is a natural and normal response to suicide. In the period after a loss, difficult and painful feelings including sadness, anger, guilt and longing for the deceased naturally occur and are an integral part of the grieving process, Grief is also often characterized by significant changes in the ability to function and manage the familiar routine of life, including changes in eating and sleeping patterns.

Although the difficult feelings and impaired functioning may be reminiscent of certain characteristics of depression, it is important to mention that these events, when they are part of the grieving process, are not defined as a disorder, but rather a part of the necessary and healthy process of coping with loss.

The differences between mourning a person who committed suicide and a person who died in other circumstances

Mourning a person who committed suicide is slightly different from mourning a person who died under other circumstances because the suicide is occasionally unexpected and leaves relatives feeling shocked. In case when relatives were aware of the risk of suicide by their family member, although there will be no shock, feelings of guilt and shame can arise for not being able to prevent their loved one from committing suicide or helping him as they would have liked. In some cases, the suicide of a close person and its revelation may be a traumatic event and trigger PTSD, which may delay the grieving process and make it difficult to cope with the loss.

How to comfort people whose relative committed suicide

Allow the relatives to express their complex feelings of anger, shock, shame, guilt. To listen willingly and without judgment, allow them to speak openly about the cause of death and not hide it.

Reading this article and others can help comforters - friends and family members and guide them how to deal with feelings of guilt, shame and concealment that are typical among survivors of a suicide death, and how to be alert for signs of developing traumatic, complex or prolonged grief.

Traumatic, complex or prolonged grief

Family members, friends, colleagues and other relatives who have lost a person due to suicide, may particularly suffer from acute grief reactions. These reactions are normal during the grieving process. When the reactions last a long time and impair function, they can be defined as a disorder.

Normal reactions to grief may include:

  • Powerful longing for the deceased.
  • Incessant disturbing thoughts about the deceased and the circumstances of their death.
  • Avoiding mentioning or talking about the deceased or discussing how he died.
  • Sense of a meaningless life.


Those who suffer from complex grief find it difficult to complete the grieving process. In other words, they strongly experience the natural emotions that arise but find it particularly difficult to return to their lives, to their routine, and remain in the grieving process for a long time, over a year for adults and half a year for children.

Processing grief is necessary but takes time

The grieving process is a very personal process that every relative or friend goes through until they manage to adapt to the new reality and come to terms with the new situation. This entire process is natural as the sadness that you are now feeling. The sadness can accompany those left behind for the rest of their lives, even if you are not diagnosed as suffering from complex grief.

The impact of suicide on those left behind

The suicide of a loved one is a traumatic experience that deeply affects close relatives and friends. Experience and research on the subject reveals that the relatives of those who commit suicide can suffer from mental distress, including various forms of emotional, social and mental distress. Disorders such as depression, especially if pre-existing, may worsen.

Risk of PTSD

The suicide of a close person and the circumstances of exposure to it can be a traumatic event and lead to the development of post-traumatic stress disorder. Those left behind can experience intrusive memories and flashbacks, which are also called “re-experiencing the experience”- an experience of remembering a traumatic event that is ostensibly "forced" on the person remembering that is difficult to repel and divert attention away from it. In some cases, they will avoid doing things they did with the deceased, of being in places where they were with him, or for example entering his room - anything that might remind them of the loss. These signs may increase and become aggravated in situations where the suicide survivors witnessed the scene of the suicide but can occur even if they did not. Other symptoms may occur, such as changes in patterns of thought and emotions, high arousal and irritability, etc. These symptoms are among the symptoms of PTSD. And if they are prolonged, cause distress, and significantly impair function, it is important to seek professional assistance.

Recovering from a loss: change and growth from pain

Studies show that in addition to the enormous difficulty following a suicide of someone close Most relatives and friends manage to undergo the processes that include processing grief and loss, changing and even growing from the pain. Alongside this group is a minority who will deal with prolonged grief disorders or traumatic bereavement. Even within this minority there is hopeful data about growth called "post-traumatic growth", in which, in a complex and gradual process, alongside and arising from the unbearable pain and sense of loss, the person experiences a positive psychological change, occasionally feeling that his emotional state has improved in comparison to his state prior to the loss.

The ability to share difficult feelings and thoughts related to loss increases the chance of post-traumatic growth. When the bereaved can alert others that they need help, they can receive help and support from their relatives, the environment and professionals. This support helps release some of the feelings of pain, shame, guilt and sadness and allows a renewed and more compassionate look at the loss. In these cases, the chances for relief, forgiveness (for themselves and for the deceased), recovery and, as mentioned, for post-traumatic growth is greater.

Important to know

Important to know

Not everyone who experience the loss of someone close to them by suicide will experience post-traumatic growth. Furthermore, when suicide survivors feel that the environment expects them to “heal and recover" from the loss before they are ready, emotional difficulties may arise, thereby reducing their chances of experiencing post-traumatic growth.

Recommendations for coping with difficult emotions

  • Recognition of emotions
  • Maintaining social relationships
  • Physical activity
  • Sufficient sleep
  • Healthy diet
  • Commemoration
  • Patience
  • Acceptance and forgiveness
  • Recognition of emotions: It is important to recognize the difficult emotions that arise following a loss attributed to suicide and allow yourself to experience them.
  • Maintaining social relationships: Maintaining social relationships with supporting friends and family members is important.
  • Physical activity: Physical activity can help reduce stress and anxiety while improving mood.
  • Sufficient sleep and a healthy diet: Sufficient sleep and a healthy diet are key to maintaining physical and emotional well-being.
  • Commemoration: Finding ways to commemorate the beloved can help the grieving process.
  • Patience: Recovery from loss is a lengthy and complex process. Being patient with yourself and not expecting a quick recovery is critical.
  • Acceptance and forgiveness: both for yourself and for the person who committed suicide, and his choice are key to the healing process.

When should you seek professional help

Even aftera long time following the loss, if you are finding it difficult to return to normal life and function, seeking professional help may be useful. Even when there is no impairment of function, it is very important to receive support - you should get help and not be left alone with the pain. Many studies have shown that it is possible to treat and help those who have experienced loss due to suicide. If you lost a loved one due to suicide, seek mental help, for example, psychological therapy that can be obtained through the HMOs. Psychological help may also be obtained through the help centers of the Ministry of Welfare and Social Security. The centers are operated by the ELAH Center for Coping with Loss and Bishvil Hahayim association for supporting and accompanying family members in families suffering a loss due to suicide, individual, couple and family therapy at a nominal price at couples and family therapy in local authorities, therapeutic groups, community activity, etc.

Support and assistance

Comprehensive information about resources and support and encouragement for people in suicidal distress on the National Suicide Prevention Program website.

For information on the government services website

Written in conjunction with the National Suicide Prevention Program Written with the assistance of Dr. Shira Barzilai, Clinical Psychologist, Senior Lecturer in Community Mental Health Faculty, Haifa University, and Nadav Horovitz, Clinical Psychologist.