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Making Decisions About the Pregnancy

Dr. Yael Gur Kol, Director of the National Social Work Service;  Dr. Sharon Orshalimy (PHD), Coordinator of Forum 21
27 November 2024

If you found out that you unintendedly got pregnant, you must be emotionally overwhelmed. Every young woman in your condition would probably feel the same. Involving a person close to you or someone you trust such as parents, a friend or a girlfriend, will help you in this complex emotional struggle.

In order to make a decision regarding involving others, it is important to take into account cultural aspects that characterize the community or sector to which you belong and their attitudes towards a teenage pregnancy. If you are unable to involve a close person, we recommend that you speak with a professional who is experienced in dealing with the issue.

If you experienced sexual abuse that resulted in your pregnancy, we recommend that you seek help and not undertake this journey on your own.

Before you make a decision about the future of the pregnancy, we recommend that you ask yourself questions like: What are my dreams and plans for the future? What will happen to them if I decide to continue the pregnancy? Am I able to take care of a baby right now?

It is important that you remember that this is your body and the decision is yours alone. No one can decide for you and force you to give birth or terminate a pregnancy.

We would like to remind you that this is a temporary situation and in most cases things will resolve.

Most importantly, do not be alone. Contact relevant professional females and rely on them during this period.

If you found out that you unintendedly got pregnant, you must be emotionally overwhelmed. Every young woman in your condition would probably feel the same. Involving a person close to you or someone you trust such as parents, a friend or a girlfriend, will help you in this complex emotional struggle.

The following article offers recommendations for dealing with the emotional situation as well as several tools that can help you make decisions.

Range of emotions

If you found out that you have an unplanned pregnancy, you must be emotionally overwhelmed. Like other teenagers in your situation, it is natural to feel a wide range of emotions.

  • On the one hand

    • Concern about your ability to care for and become responsible for an infant.
    • Fear of giving up other things that are important to you.
    • Fear and shame of other people's reaction.

  • On the other hand

    • Joy at the fact that you are capable of becoming pregnant.
    • Curiosity about the possibility of raising your own baby.
    • Excitement about a unique and new event in your life.

Sharing and receiving assistance

It will be easier for you to deal with the whirlwind of emotions when you have the support of a close person whom you trust. Try to think about whom you are comfortable sharing personal matters. Mother or father, another close relative, a partner who cares for you, a friend or girlfriend, a therapeutic or educational person in your environment, or a youth counseling center.

In order to make a decision regarding involving others, it is important to take into account cultural aspects that characterize the community or sector to which you belong and their attitudes towards a teenage pregnancy.

If you experienced sexual abuse that resulted in your pregnancy, we recommend that you seek help and not undertake this journey on your own.

Dear teen,

Dear teen,

Do not remain alone. If there is no figure you trust in your immediate environment, turn to the professional women for help. It can be an educator or the school counselor, or it may be a professional from the Open Door association (Hebrew), or from the Lada’at - Choose Well association.

Before you make a decision about the future of the pregnancy, we recommend that you ask yourself questions like: What are my dreams and plans for the future? What will happen to them if I decide to continue the pregnancy? Am I able to take care of a baby right now? Do I want this? What do I stand to lose or gain at this stage of my life if I have a baby? How are people significant to me expected to react to the pregnancy, such as my partner (if any), parents or friends?

Some teenagers use the "pros and cons" list to make a decision regarding the future of pregnancy.

It is important that you remember that this is your body and the decision is yours alone. No one can decide for you and force you to give birth or terminate a pregnancy. Furthermore, remember that you can never be 100 percent sure that the decision you made is the "right" one.

Once you have made a decision, try to move forward and act. It is, however, important that you know that even if you have decided to terminate the pregnancy, you can always reverse the decision until the last moment.

To alleviate the stress in difficult moments during the process, think and imagine positive experiences:

  • A walk along the beach, lying on the grass in nature etc.
  • A familiar and pleasant place where you feel safe.
  • Travel and discover a new place you've never visited.
  • Beloved and significant people in your life.

Guided imagination helps improve your mood, releases negative emotions and relaxes the mind. The less tense you are, the more clearly you will be able to think about the critical questions that you are facing.

If you want to end the pregnancy, you are probably preoccupied with the physical and emotional feelings following the medical procedure.

The physical and emotional feelings following the termination of the pregnancy depend on the circumstances and why the pregnancy was terminated, as well as how satisfied you are with the decision you made. You may feel a sense of relief, sadness or you may have mixed feelings.

It is also important that you know that following a termination of pregnancy, bleeding and contractions of the uterus are expected to begin that resemble the menstrual cycle. You can, of course, consult the professional staff that will take care of you.

What can happen following the pregnancy

Teenage pregnancy may have several effects:

  • Physical changes and pregnancy complications: during pregnancy, your body will undergo significant physiological changes that can manifest as physical hardships, discomfort and even anxiety. Beyond these changes, since during adolescence the body is still in development processes, the risk of developing pregnancy and childbirth complications, such as gestational hypertension and preeclampsia, also increases.
  • Difficulty finding balance: pregnancy is a period of extremely significant changes, not only physically, but also emotionally. A teenage girl your age has an academic commitment (school) and a social life and it may sometimes be difficult to strike the right balance between all of these.
  • Social difficulty: pregnancy at a young age can cause social difficulty and isolation. Pregnant teenagers sometimes have to deal with social stigmas and prejudices, and may occasionally experience distance between themselves and their friends.
  • Future difficulties: caring for a baby is intense as well as complicated, especially when the mother is still a student at school. It is also important to know that many mothers drop out of school during their teenage years and give up academic education or professional studies in the future. These concessions reduce employment opportunities in the future and increase the risk of economic and social hardship. In other words, some of the young mothers will likely depend on the support of their parents or the government.
  • Risk of depression: teenage pregnancy can be emotionally complex and is considered a risk factor for the development of prenatal and postnatal depression.

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