Toilet Training
Readiness for toilet training
As boys and girls differ from each other in every other field, here too, everyone will be ready in their own time. Most children are ready to start toilet training at the age of a year and a half to two. Signs of readiness include:
- Physical readiness: when they have basic motor skills, such as the ability to sit down for several minutes in succession, unassisted walking, the ability to take off their own clothes. At this age they are expected to be able to show a wish to be independent in other fields, such as unassisted eating, basic language comprehension and more.
- Developmental readiness: the ability to express wishes and understand simple commands, such as sitting down, getting up and the like.
- Emotional readiness: development of the tendency to appease others, imitation ability and expressing interest in toilet training.
The achievement of toilet training is first and foremost one of the toddlers, as they acquire a new skill. It is not a proof of parental ability. It is important for you to understand the physiological and psychological process that your child is undergoing and guide, support and encourage the child through it. Therefore, like for other developmental tasks, if your child demonstrates existing capabilities, you should encourage and reinforce them. In contrast, if you see that your child is not developmentally ready to start toilet training and has yet to acquire basic skills, it is better to wait rather than start toilet training. In any case, avoid "pushing it" because then failure in toilet training may lead them to develop negative emotions that will inhibit them in the future.
Preparing for toilet training
There are children who can start toilet training in a short time whereas for others it will take longer, but usually the process takes several months, requires patience and should be conducted in a supportive environment in which the child is supported and reassured rather than with power struggles.
Discussion at home on the subject
It is important to discuss the subject with the child. You can refer to suitable books that deal with the issue, videos and the like.
Naming
It is advised to talk to the child at home and explain how urine and feces are referred to at home, such as pee and poo.
First signs of readiness
For example, your child states out loud that he or she needs to void or express discomfort and ask to be changed.
Buying a potty and using a toilet
Toilet training begins with a potty that can be placed in any suitable place (preferably in the bathroom). It is recommended to get your child involved in buying and installing the potty. It is important to buy a standard approved product. The advantage of the potty for children is that they can use it unassisted and feel safe sitting at a low height with their feet on the ground.
After your child adjusts to the potty, you can make the transition to a toilet that is adjusted to children's height using stepping accessories such as a toilet stool or stepped folding potty. When using a toilet that has been adapted for children, it is important to make sure there is room and support for the feet.
- Show the potty and toilet and explain their use.
- Encourage your child to use them.
- Make a connection between voiding and the pot or toilet. For example, after soiling diapers, show them that the feces are dropped into the toilet.
- If your child shows signs of wanting to defecate, encourage him or her to sit on the potty or toilet. Initially the child can sit while wearing a diaper.
- When they sit on the potty, it is important to be next to them. It is an opportunity to read them a story and instill a relaxed atmosphere. After using the potty, drop the excrement into the toilet with them.
- Children of this age cannot clean themselves up, so it is important to help them until they can do so alone. For girls, it is important to emphasize that after defecation, the cleaning direction should be from the vulva back towards the anus rather than vice versa.
- After using the potty or toilet, practice hand washing with soap and water with your child as part of the basic hygiene habits.
Encouraging and supporting toilet training
After your child succeeds, keep encouraging him or her to reach independence and make the switch to lighter clothes, underwear or other products such as disposable underwear (pull ups).
It is important to dress the child in comfortable clothes so that he or she can remove them easily and unassisted. Avoid buttons, belts and stiff fabrics.
When children are successful, reassure and show them that you appreciate their every achievement, however small, on the way to the final goal. Express your appreciation by immediate positive reinforcement, such as expressing your good impression or a hug, and sentences such as “I’m proud of you” or “Well done!”. You should know that positive reinforcement is important in learning processes in every discipline. In contrast, if they do not succeed or miss, avoid punishing them or making negative comments because punishment may get the opposite effect.
Toilet training difficulties
Toilet training is a process and may take time. For some boys the process may be slower than for girls. Sometimes, the child is interested in toilet training and cooperates but has many “misses”, or the opposite may happen – a child may refuse to take part in the process. In these situations it is worth waiting with toilet training and try again later.
When children want to succeed but do not always do, it is important to find out in what and when they do not succeed and in what and when they do. You can consult a family care center and get answers to questions and ideas for solutions.
You should know
You should know
Sometimes, parents are worried that an untrained child will not get into a municipal kindergarten. You should know that according to the Compulsory Education Law, they will be accepted into kindergarten even before they are toilet trained.
Phenomena and challenges in toilet training
Playing with or touching excretions
This is a common phenomenon and it must be understood that for children, it is a product of their body that they are proud of. You should gently explain to them that the right place for excrement is the toilet, but you should not emphasize this too much.
Regression
Ups and downs in the toilet training process are predictable, but when a child has already been toilet trained for half a year and starts to wet the bed again without a known reason, such as an illness, this requires attention and it is important to contact the attending physician for consultation and testing.
Lack of progress
There may be a physical, developmental or emotional reason. It is important to identify the cause, deal with it and help the child progress.
Situations requiring medical consultation
- Daytime urinary continence: until the age of 4, urinary daytime incontinence is considered reasonable, but if the situation persists after the age of 4, consultation is recommended.
- Daytime fecal continence: until the age of 4, misses are considered normal and part of the toilet training process. After this age, it is advised to consult a medical professional.
- Pain during urination or defecation and constipation: urination or defecation combined with pain or constipation manifesting in hard fecal consistency and low defecation frequency requires seeking consultation with a medical professional.
- Children with a developmental delay or developmental disorders, neurological disorders: in these cases, it is likely that the process will take longer and if necessary, consultation may be considered.
Nighttime continence
Even if the child does not have a daytime incontinence problem, nighttime continence is less conscious. The bladder fills up while we are asleep, and the ability to get up and go to the bathroom requires more maturity. Therefore, nocturnal toilet training might take longer and even occur spontaneously in older ages.
Be patient and understanding: it is important to remember that nocturnal toilet training is a process that requires patience and understanding on the part of the parents. Encourage your children, commend their success, and try to maintain a nighttime routine.
Situations requiring medical consultation
- Sudden change: an occasional miss is a familiar phenomenon, but if the child has already stopped using diapers during the night for a certain period (over a month) and then started bedwetting again frequently, it is important to find out the reason for it.
- Over the age of 3: if the child defecates during the night.
- Over the age of 6: if the child keeps bedwetting on a regular basis. Note that in some families, weaning off diapers is done at a later age for genetic reasons, and in that case, you may wait until the of 7 or 8, if it suits the child and the family better.
Toilet training and the Family Care Center
The Family Care Center offers parents guidance on toilet training. Your local Family Care Center offers the service, including online such as by Zoom, individually or in groups. The guidance includes a discussion with parents, asking open-ended questions and giving room for each parent’s cultural and personal concepts on the matter. The contents will be suitable for the child’s age, developmental stage and signs of readiness.