What is Loneliness?

In the modern world, with the change from a traditional society to a Western society, changes have occurred in the family structure and the form of living, and a transition to a more separated and individual life has taken place. If once the extended family all lived together, today each nuclear family lives separately. In addition, the fast pace of life, the pressures and screens that accompany us almost every moment all contribute to an increase in loneliness rates: People are less available to other people, everyone lives in a different place and social needs are not always met. Social networks provide a sense of connection, but do not always fulfill the real need for human closeness. Sometimes we discover the feeling of loneliness and its effects only when there is already a self-feeding circle.

Loneliness is a negative subjective feeling that results from the gap between what we would like to happen in our social relationships and what actually happens. Loneliness often stems from a lack or reduction in social connections. This can happen in adolescence, due to social difficulties with peers, and the technological escape, such as social networks, which do not necessarily provide a real solution to loneliness over time, or in old age, due to the loss of close and significant people, retirement from the world of work and impaired functional ability. Most people experience certain moments of loneliness, for example on weekends or holidays, while some feel lonely most of the time, which is sometimes called "chronic loneliness".

Sometimes you can feel lonely even when surrounded by people, if you feel that they do not understand you or that there is no one to share what you are going through. It is an experience that we may all feel at certain times, and it indicates the natural human need for closeness, listening and belonging. Many avoid talking about loneliness, thinking that it is a weakness or that others will not understand, but it is important to know that there is no shame in it – these are human feelings that deserve to be listened to and addressed, and there are many ways to deal with them.

Loneliness has a significant impact on mental and physical health and the quality and longevity of life, similar to other risk factors such as smoking. Studies show that people who struggle with loneliness suffer more from physical morbidity, cognitive decline, and loss of years of life. Despite the research data supporting the importance of the issue and its implications for many areas of life, in many cases the issue still does not receive adequate attention and treatment.

Causes of loneliness

The causes of loneliness are complex and vary from person to person. What causes loneliness in one person may not necessarily affect another in the same way – therefore, ways of coping should also be personalized. Loneliness can appear in our lives for various reasons:

• Changes in routine: Changes, even those perceived as positive and desirable, such as moving to a new city, starting school or a new job, may be accompanied by a feeling of loneliness.
• Social and family difficulties: Various situations, some of which are ongoing, such as the lack of meaningful relationships or receiving feedback from the environment to the point of feeling transparent and not being seen, or situations of social rejection, shaming, bullying, etc. Other situations can be a crisis or acute following a fight or conflict that causes a disconnect for a certain period of time and even the loss of a loved one.
• Physical and mental illnesses: Illnesses, such as heart disease or cancer, or psychiatric disorders such as depression, can lead to loneliness. Encountering the illness may not be easy for those around you. Often, the illness becomes the center of the sick person's life, to the point that the focus, on a mental level and also on lifestyle habits, is only around treatment and coping. In this situation, the reciprocity in the relationship between the sick person and the friends and family members around them may be affected.
• Disability or functional or sensory impairment: Sensory disabilities, such as hearing or vision impairment, or physical disabilities that affect mobility and daily functioning, may make interpersonal communication difficult, the ability to create new social relationships difficult, and take an active part in them.
• Personality traits: Some people have a tendency to be withdrawn, shy, or have low self-esteem, which may make it difficult to create close social relationships, especially in new situations.
• Social networks: Although they are designed to connect people, social networks sometimes actually intensify the feeling of loneliness. When we see others who seem happy and surrounded by friends, or when most of our relationships are conducted through a screen, feelings of disconnection and loneliness may be strengthened. Networks can be an escape, but they do not replace meaningful social connections. At the same time, they also have positive sides: They allow you to expand your circles, find partners, and create new connections. The key is to use them to get closer, not to distance yourself.

The impact of loneliness on health

Effects on physical health

• Studies show that chronic loneliness is associated with damage to the body's immune system and the appearance of inflammation, an increased risk of blood pressure, cardiovascular disease and stroke, and may even increase the risk of mortality.
• Loneliness is also associated with the appearance of dementia and Alzheimer's and general cognitive decline.
• Loneliness has a negative effect on other diseases, such as type 2 diabetes.
• Behavioral aspects, such as withdrawal, avoidance, sleep disorders and poor nutrition, can cause health problems, for example, metabolic syndrome.
• Loneliness is associated with increased stress, which leads to an increase in the secretion of stress hormones such as cortisol, which impairs the effectiveness of the immune system over time. Continuous stress increases the risk of heart and blood vessel problems.

Effects on mental health

• Loneliness is one of the main predictors of the development of depression or anxiety in both young adults and the elderly. The mechanism of depression is linked, among other things, to a negative interpretation of social situations around feelings of worthlessness – which may lead to withdrawal and disconnection, and to a worsening of the feeling of loneliness. In anxiety, the mental content revolves around negative, and sometimes intrusive, recurring thoughts, which may cause withdrawal, weakening of social skills and intensification of social anxiety.
• Loneliness may also cause impairment in emotional regulation, attention and concentration, and memory.
• There is a link between chronic loneliness and suicidal ideation and suicide attempts, especially in adolescence and old age, mainly due to a feeling of loss of meaning, despair and hopelessness, along with a lack of internal strength and a lack of sufficient support on an emotional and social level.

Although the effects on physical and mental health can be challenging, they are not a given. There are many ways to cope with loneliness, prevent the symptoms from worsening and their negative effects on physical and mental health. The key is to recognize the signs early and seek help when needed. For more information on coping with loneliness

Assisted in writing the article: Lior Guri, master's degree student in Psychology, Mental Health Division, Ministry of Health.