Domestic Violence: Identifying the Signs and Getting Help
Domestic violence is a serious phenomenon that affects many families from all sectors of the population in the State of Israel. It is important to know that children are harmed even when they are not the direct victims. According to government data, approximately 200,000 women and about 500,000 children are within the cycle of violence. This means that one in every ten couples in Israel and hundreds of thousands of children experience daily trauma.
Official data for 2023 clearly illustrate the situation:
- Approximately 70,000 victims of violence were recorded in police files, many of whom were parents of children.
- 1,177 children received treatment at domestic violence treatment centers.
It is important to remember that violence has many forms and can erupt in any family. Children who experience or witness domestic violence carry the impact with them throughout their lives, unless they receive help in time. In this article, we aim to help you understand how to identify signs of domestic violence, what the effects on children are, how to act in such situations, and where professional help can be found.
What is domestic violence and how children experience it
Domestic violence is defined as physical, sexual, verbal, economic, or emotional harm. Each of these impact children in different ways.
Violence that is directed specifically at children is often easier to identify. However, it is also known that children who witness violence within their family, violence between parents or toward other family members, even when it is not directed at them personally, experience harm that is no less severe and sometimes even greater, due to feelings of helplessness and lack of control.
Please note
Please note
Children see, hear, and feel everything, even if they are in their room behind a closed door, sitting in the back seat of a car with headphones on, or when parents speak in a language they do not understand. In practice, they perceive tone of voice, body language, and are aware of what is happening.
Common types of domestic violence
Warning signs of violence in children
Children usually do not report harm themselves. Instead, they often express distress through various behaviors. The earlier these warning signs are identified, the sooner action can be taken to stop the harm and provide appropriate treatment.
It is important to note that the signs listed do not necessarily appear together, and the presence of some of them does not necessarily indicate domestic violence. Certain signs may also stem from other causes, so it is important to look at the broader picture and conduct a professional assessment when needed.
-
Behavioral and emotional signs
- Withdrawal or fear, especially if the child did not previously behave this way.
- Aggressive tendencies, violence, anger toward others, and sudden outbursts.
- Regression to behaviors typical of a younger age, such as bedwetting.
- Avoidance of one of the parents or caregivers.
- Decline in academic performance, sharp drop in achievements, concentration difficulties, and school absenteeism.
- Age-inappropriate sexual behavior.
- Sleep problems, nightmares, fear of going to sleep, and frequent visits to the parents’ bed.
- Social withdrawal expressed by reluctance to meet friends or invite them home.
- Inappropriate clothing, for example long sleeves in warm weather or oversized clothing used to hide injuries.
-
Physical signs
- Unexplained bruises and injuries.
- Recurrent injuries.
- Sudden changes in appetite or weight, such as significant weight gain or loss, and eating disorders.
- Neglect of personal hygiene.
Long-term effects of violence on children
Children exposed to domestic violence are harmed even if they are not direct victims. Exposure to violence, both as victims and as witnesses, may lead to various short-term and long-term effects.
Short-term effects
- Anxiety and depressive disorders.
- Eating disorders.
- Difficulties with toilet training.
- Sleep disorders.
- Social isolation and difficulty forming relationships with other children.
- Academic difficulties.
- Violent behavior.
Long-term effects
- Repetition of violent patterns in adult relationships.
- Post traumatic stress disorder.
- Difficulty establishing and maintaining a healthy family.
- Various addictions.
- Suicidal thoughts.
- Becoming part of the intergenerational cycle of violence.
However, there is also room for hope: With early identification, appropriate treatment, and support, it is possible to stop or reduce the harm and enable children to cope, process the experience, and live healthy, functional, and fulfilling lives.
What can be done? Practical guidance by situation
Mandatory reporting: What parents need to know
According to the Penal Law, every person has a duty to report to the police or to social services any incident of violence committed against a minor or a dependent person. A dependent person is someone who, due to age, illness, or physical or mental disability, cannot care for their needs, health, or safety.
What does this mean in practice?
Reporting is mandatory:
- When there is reasonable suspicion of harm to a child.
- When a child is significantly neglected.
- When a child is exposed to severe violence between parents.
- When a child reports sexual abuse.
How to report:
- Emergency cases: Police 100.
- Non-emergency reporting: Ministry of Welfare and Social Affairs Information and Assistance Hotline at 118 or via WhatsApp at 050-2270118.
- At school: Contact the educational staff.
It is important to remember
It is important to remember
Reporting is intended to help the child and the family, not to harm them.
Treatment frameworks for domestic violence
Essential contact numbers
|
Who to contact |
Phone |
When and why |
|---|---|---|
|
Police |
100 |
Emergency situations involving immediate danger to a child or family |
|
National Welfare Emergency Hotline + WhatsApp (messages can be sent to 050-2270118) |
118 |
Reporting violence, consultation, and referral to treatment |
|
Beit Lin centers |
*9519 |
Immediate assistance for children and adolescents affected by sexual and physical abuse |
|
Local authority Social Services Department |
106 |
Reporting children in distress and requesting assistance |
|
ELI (Association for Child Protection) |
1-800-223-966 |
Protection of children in cases of abuse or neglect |
|
ERAN (emotional first aid) |
1201 |
Emotional support for the entire family, including children |
|
Aluma centers |
*2909 |
24/7 emergency centers for the treatment of domestic violence |
|
Assistance for victims of sexual assault |
1202 |
In cases involving sexual abuse of children |
Don't face domestic violence alone
It is important to always remember:
- Children are very resilient: With appropriate treatment, they can cope effectively and recover.
- Seeking help is not a failure: It is the most responsible step you can take for your children.
- Even in the most difficult situations, there is a solution: Thousands of families leave the cycle of violence and build new lives.
Your children remember everything, both the difficult moments and the good ones. They will remember how you acted with courage and took responsibility. They will remember that you protected them. Most importantly, they will learn from you that harmful behavior is unacceptable and that it is always possible to ask for help.
It is important to remember that you are not alone. Domestic violence is a serious and dangerous phenomenon, but it can be addressed. The welfare system and the healthcare system are here to support you. There are professionals with expertise in this field who can help you face any challenge.