I want

Relationships and Sexuality in Coping With a Crisis

Ahuva Steinberger, Clinical social worker (M.A.) and EMDR therapist. Works in a private clinic, a therapeutic boarding school under the Ministry of Welfare, and a national resilience center
7 June 2026

Stressful and crisis situations affect many areas of life, including relationships and sexuality. Feelings of distance, reduced sexual desire, or difficulty communicating are common reactions to stress, and they do not necessarily indicate a problem in the relationship itself.

When the body is under prolonged stress, it shifts into a survival state—the “fight or flight” response—in which mental and physical resources are directed toward coping with threat rather than toward calm, closeness, or pleasure. This state can affect sleep quality, mood, and the ability to emotionally engage in intimacy. In addition, functional overload, financial difficulties, changes in routine, or different coping styles between partners may intensify the challenge.

Individual responses vary: some people experience a decrease in sexual desire, while others may feel an increased need for closeness. Both reactions are completely natural.

Several simple steps can help:

  • Setting dedicated time for the relationship.
  • Open communication about feelings and needs.
  • Recognizing differences between partners.
  • Nurturing physical closeness even when it is not sexual.

It is important to remember that gentle forms of closeness—such as hugging, touch, or simply sitting together—also contribute to a sense of safety and connection.

In any case, when difficulties persist over time, it is important to remember that seeking couples or sexual therapy is a step of responsibility and strengthening the relationship, not a sign of failure.

In recent years, Israeli society has been coping with prolonged periods of uncertainty, tension, and changes in daily life. Alongside national and security-related challenges, many people also face personal and family crises such as loss, illness, financial difficulties, or ongoing stress. These situations affect many areas of life, including relationships and sexuality.

Feelings of emotional distance, reduced sexual desire, communication difficulties, or changes in patterns of intimacy are common reactions to stress and do not necessarily indicate a problem in the relationship. Recognizing the possible effects of crisis and allowing space for coping processes can help maintain personal, relational, and family resilience. It is important to remember that this is a normal response to an abnormal situation.

The Impact of Crisis on Relationships

Prolonged stress requires a person to mobilize significant emotional and psychological resources. When much of this mental energy (which is limited for all people) is directed toward coping with worry, uncertainty, or daily burdens, emotional availability within the relationship may be affected.

Partners may experience difficulty with listening and patience, react with increased irritability, or feel a need to withdraw and cope alone. At times, a sense of emotional distance may develop even when the relationship itself is stable and supportive. In other cases, more frequent arguments may arise around issues that previously did not create significant tension.

Important to remember

Important to remember

These reactions are not necessarily a sign of a relationship crisis. Often, they reflect the way ongoing stress affects each partner’s emotional functioning. Understanding that this is a natural response to a difficult situation can help reduce feelings of guilt, self-criticism, or fear of irreversible damage to the relationship.

Impact of crises on physical and sexual intimacy

Sexuality and intimate relationships are directly influenced by a person’s emotional and physical state. Stress, anxiety, or trauma shift the body into a survival mode—the “fight or flight” response—in which resources are directed toward coping with perceived threat rather than toward calmness, closeness, or pleasure. This prolonged state of alertness affects sleep quality, mood, and the ability to emotionally engage in intimacy.

Beyond the physiological impact, there are additional factors that may intensify the difficulty:

Work, studies, or caring for children reduce the time and energy available for the relationship.

They add stress and worry that make it harder to be emotionally present within the relationship.

Prolonged absences, lack of sleep, and increased exposure to stressful news.

May surface with greater intensity and create physical and emotional distance.

Partners do not always respond to a crisis in the same way. While one may seek closeness and sharing, the other may need personal space. These differences can create a sense of misunderstanding, but they usually reflect different coping styles rather than a problem in the relationship itself.

Individual responses to this situation vary: some people experience a decrease in sexual desire and difficulty engaging in intimacy, while others feel an increased need for touch and closeness as a source of comfort and security. Both responses are natural and valid. Research shows that physical touch and closeness help reduce cortisol levels (the stress hormone) and promote the release of oxytocin (the bonding hormone), thereby serving as an anchor for psychological well-being and a sense of safety.

Tools for self-coping and strengthening the relationship

  • Set dedicated time for the relationship
  • Share feelings and needs
  • Acknowledge differences
  • Nurture closeness and gentle intimacy
  • Consensual sexual activity
  • Reducing performance pressure

Despite the challenges, there are several simple steps that can help maintain a sense of closeness and partnership.

  • Set dedicated time for the relationship: Even during busy periods, it is important to find regular time for conversation, shared activity, or a short outing without distractions.
  • Share feelings and needs: Open communication allows partners to better understand each other’s experiences and avoid misinterpretations.
  • Acknowledge differences: Each person has their own way of coping with stress. Recognizing this can reduce criticism and strengthen mutual understanding.
  • Nurture closeness and gentle intimacy: Hugging, calming touch, sitting together, or small gestures of care can provide a sense of safety and connection—even without sexual activity.
  • Consensual sexual activity: Sexual intimacy based on free will strengthens and deepens the relationship, but when it is experienced as obligation or pressure, it may create distance and aversion.
  • Reducing performance pressure: Letting go of expectations for “normal” sexual performance can reduce anxiety and allow physical intimacy to gradually rebuild.

These steps do not resolve every difficulty, but they can help maintain the relationship and strengthen a sense of partnership, especially during challenging times.

Seeking professional help: not a sign of failure

Most couples are able to cope with temporary difficulties on their own, especially when there is good communication and a shared willingness to address the challenge.

However, it is recommended to consider professional consultation when emotional distance persists over time, when recurring conflicts remain unresolved, when there is a significant breakdown in communication, or when one partner experiences substantial emotional distress.

Ongoing difficulties in intimacy and sexuality may also warrant professional support. Couples therapy or sex therapy can help identify underlying causes, improve communication, and develop tailored coping tools.

Seeking help should be seen as an act of responsibility and strengthening the relationship, not as a sign of failure. Receiving timely support may prevent further escalation of difficulties and contribute to strengthening the bond.

Where can you turn for help?

  • Couples and family therapy clinics: Available in every city. For details, contact the Ministry of Welfare’s social services department near your place of residence.
  • Health maintenance organizations (HMOs): You can receive a referral through a family doctor to dedicated sexual and couples therapy clinics, or obtain a referral (Form 17) for institutes that work in agreement with your HMO, depending on the clinic’s arrangement with your HMO.
  • Hospital clinics: Outpatient clinics that provide sexual and couples therapy (for example, Sheba Medical Center – Tel HaShomer). In some clinics, treatment is subsidized; others require a referral (Form 17), and some involve co-payments.
  • Private couples and sex therapy: Private treatment with a certified therapist trained in the field (certified by the Israeli Society for Sex Therapy or a certified couples and family therapist recognized by the Israeli Association for Couples and Family Therapy).

Crises are an inevitable part of life and can affect relationships and sexuality. However, these challenges do not necessarily indicate weakness or damage to the relationship. In many cases, they are a natural response to a complex reality.

Recognizing the effects of a crisis, maintaining open communication, showing mutual flexibility, and being willing to seek help when needed can help preserve closeness and a sense of partnership. During challenging times, a relationship can become an important source of support, security, and resilience for both partners and for the family as a whole.

Roni Dalumi – My Love

The song was written as part of a mental health and anxiety awareness campaign. "My Love" was written and composed by Assi Azar and Avi Ohayon and is performed by Roni Dalumi.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/vptFwHaUz_g?si=DKPycDBfl7dQ2DPw?rel=0