Relationships and Sexuality in Coping With a Crisis

In recent years, Israeli society has been coping with prolonged periods of uncertainty, tension, and changes in daily life. Alongside national and security-related challenges, many people also face personal and family crises such as loss, illness, financial difficulties, or ongoing stress. These situations affect many areas of life, including relationships and sexuality.

Feelings of emotional distance, reduced sexual desire, communication difficulties, or changes in patterns of intimacy are common reactions to stress and do not necessarily indicate a problem in the relationship. Recognizing the possible effects of crisis and allowing space for coping processes can help maintain personal, relational, and family resilience. It is important to remember that this is a normal response to an abnormal situation.

The Impact of Crisis on Relationships

Prolonged stress requires a person to mobilize significant emotional and psychological resources. When much of this mental energy (which is limited for all people) is directed toward coping with worry, uncertainty, or daily burdens, emotional availability within the relationship may be affected.

Partners may experience difficulty with listening and patience, react with increased irritability, or feel a need to withdraw and cope alone. At times, a sense of emotional distance may develop even when the relationship itself is stable and supportive. In other cases, more frequent arguments may arise around issues that previously did not create significant tension.

What you can do right now

Even when there is no immediate solution, small steps can help: talk about what you are going through without blame, reduce pressure around sexual activity, find short moments of connection, recognize that each person may respond differently, and seek support if the difficulty continues or becomes more intense.

When a crisis affects the relationship

Ongoing stress requires us to use significant emotional and mental resources. When much of our limited emotional energy is focused on coping with worries, uncertainty, or daily pressures, our emotional availability within the relationship may be affected.

Partners may find it harder to listen and be patient, react with increased irritability, or feel the need to withdraw and cope on their own. Sometimes a sense of distance develops, even when the relationship itself is stable and supportive. In other cases, more frequent arguments may arise around issues that previously did not cause significant tension.

Responses to these changes can vary widely. Some people may experience a decrease in sexual desire and find it difficult to engage in closeness, while others may experience increased desire or a stronger need for sexuality, physical touch, or sexual activity. For some people, sexuality can be a way to seek connection, comfort, and security; for others, it may also be associated with pleasure, release, or a sense of vitality. All of these responses can be natural and valid, as long as they are based on free choice, mutual understanding, and full consent.

Despite the challenges, there are several simple steps that can help maintain a sense of closeness and partnership.

• Set aside dedicated time for your relationship: Even during busy periods, it is important to make regular time for conversation, shared activities, or a short time together without distractions.
• Share feelings and needs: Open communication helps partners better understand each other’s experiences and avoid misunderstandings.
• Recognize differences: Everyone has their own way of coping with stress. Recognizing this can reduce criticism and strengthen mutual understanding.
• Nurture closeness and non-sexual intimacy: Hugs, comforting touch, sitting together, or small gestures of care can provide a sense of security and connection, even without sexual activity.
• Have sexual activity only with free choice and full consent: Sexual activity should happen only when both partners want it, without pressure, obligation, or the need to please the other person. If one partner does not want to, does not feel comfortable, or is doing it just to avoid disappointing the other, it is important to stop. Closeness can also be maintained in other ways that do not involve sexual activity.
• Reduce pressure around performance: Letting go of expectations for a "typical" sexual experience can reduce performance anxiety and allow physical intimacy to rebuild gradually.

These steps do not solve every difficulty, but they can help maintain the relationship and strengthen a sense of partnership, especially during challenging times.

Professional support as a step toward relief and strengthening the relationship

Most couples are able to cope with temporary difficulties on their own, especially when there is good communication and a shared desire to address the challenge.

However, consider seeking professional support when feelings of distance continue over time, when recurring unresolved conflicts arise, when communication is significantly affected, or when one partner experiences significant emotional distress.

Ongoing difficulties with intimacy and sexuality may also be a reason to seek professional support. Couples therapy or sex therapy can help identify the factors contributing to the difficulty, improve communication, and provide tools tailored to the situation.

It is important to pay attention to situations where intimacy or sexual behavior changes significantly and in an unusual way. For example, when closeness is replaced by pressure, control, or fear; or when there is a sudden increased need for sexual activity, seeking experiences that are out of character, sexual impulsivity, or difficulty maintaining personal and relationship boundaries. Such changes may indicate significant distress or a mental health crisis and should be discussed with a professional.

Seeking help should be viewed as a responsible step toward strengthening the relationship, not as a sign of failure. Receiving professional support at the right time may help prevent difficulties from worsening and contribute to a stronger relationship.

Crises are an inevitable part of life and can affect relationships and sexuality. However, these challenges do not necessarily indicate weakness or damage to the relationship. In many cases, they are a natural response to a complex reality.

Recognizing the effects of a crisis, maintaining open communication, showing mutual flexibility, and being willing to seek help when needed can help preserve closeness and a sense of partnership. During challenging times, a relationship can become an important source of support, security, and resilience for both partners and for the family as a whole.