Post-Traumatic Growth

About two years ago, Yael, 42, was injured in a car accident on her way to work. During the first few months, she struggled with fear, trouble sleeping, and a sense of insecurity she had never experienced before. Even after her physical injuries healed, she felt that the world no longer seemed as safe as it once had. It took time before she felt comfortable driving again, and she described a long period of heightened alertness and emotional exhaustion. Over time, alongside these challenges, she began to notice other changes. She spent more time with family and friends, stopped putting off things that had been important to her for years, and found herself less focused on pleasing others and more in tune with her own needs. Yael did not feel that the trauma had been "good" for her, nor did she believe that people need to go through hardship in order to change. The pain, fear, and difficult memories did not disappear. Even so, she felt that something about the way she viewed life had changed because of what she had been through.

This experience is familiar to some people who have gone through deeply distressing events, and it relates to a concept known as "post-traumatic growth."

In recent years, many people in Israel have experienced uncertainty, loss, threat, or ongoing disruption. The COVID-19 pandemic, periods of heightened security tensions, the October 7 attacks, and the war that followed have affected many lives in different ways. Even people who were not directly affected may find themselves coping with fear, grief, worry, or the feeling that the world they once knew has changed.

Within this reality, some people find themselves asking not only how to keep living alongside the pain, but also whether something inside them has changed because of what they have experienced.

Post-traumatic growth: When something changes after a crisis

Post-traumatic growth is a psychological concept that describes positive changes that may occur in some people after they experience trauma or a major life crisis. The concept was developed in the mid-1990s by researchers Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun of the University of North Carolina at Charlotte, based on their work exploring how trauma can affect a person's sense of self, relationships, and meaning in life.

These changes are not necessarily large or dramatic. Sometimes they show up in small shifts in how we see the world. They may include changes in priorities, feeling closer to important people, becoming more comfortable setting boundaries, or finding a renewed sense of meaning.

Post-traumatic growth vs. resilience

In recent years, we've heard a lot about resilience, and it's sometimes confused with post-traumatic growth. While the two are related, they are not the same thing.

Resilience is the ability to cope with stress, crisis, or trauma, adapt to difficult circumstances, and gradually return to daily functioning. People with resilience are not necessarily affected less by hardship. Rather, they are able to draw on internal and external strengths that help them navigate difficult experiences.

In other words, resilience helps us weather the storm, while post-traumatic growth describes the changes that may develop afterward. Even so, it's important to remember that not everyone who is resilient experiences post-traumatic growth, and not everyone who experiences post-traumatic growth found the trauma easy to cope with.

For example, Nadav, 39, who served in the military reserves for many months since October 7, shared that even after returning home, the difficulty did not disappear. He dealt with trouble sleeping, heightened alertness, and a sense of feeling disconnected, but while processing what he had experienced, he also noticed that his priorities had changed. He began spending more time with his family, returned to volunteering in the community, and felt that it was less important to him to "do everything" and more important to live according to the values that truly matter to him.

However, it's important to remember that even when these types of changes appear, they can exist alongside anxiety, sadness, emotional exhaustion, or other post-traumatic symptoms. It's also important to remember that not every change that appears after a difficult period is necessarily post-traumatic growth. Sometimes we change because of age, life experience, therapy, health changes, hormonal changes, or other life crises. In general, when a change is related to post-traumatic growth, people often feel that it is connected to their experience of a deeply distressing event or a period of crisis.

Not everyone grows from trauma, and that's okay

One of the most important things to discuss regarding post-traumatic growth is that not everyone who experiences trauma will also experience growth. There is no "right" way to respond to a difficult event.

Some people may experience mainly pain, confusion, ongoing difficulties, or even depression. Others may gradually return to functioning without feeling a significant change in how they view their lives. And some may experience both: pain and a sense of change.

Research shows that a significant number of people who experience a traumatic event report certain positive changes as a result of coping with it. A large research review found that about half of the participants reported moderate to high levels of post-traumatic growth. However, researchers emphasize that growth does not occur in everyone, it does not look the same for every person, and it does not necessarily mean that pain or distress have gone away.

It's also important to remember that growth is not a measure of a "better" recovery. Sometimes the expectation to "grow" can create pressure, guilt, or a sense of failure for people who are still coping with what happened. Everyone has their own pace when dealing with trauma, so there should be no expectation to find meaning, change, or experience growth as a result of it.

And one more thing that is important to say clearly: We do not have to find meaning or experience positive change for our pain to be valid.

Pain and growth can exist together

There is sometimes a tendency to think that if a person experiences growth, it means they are no longer suffering or that the trauma is "behind them." In reality, the situation is much more complex.

Post-traumatic growth can exist alongside post-traumatic stress. A person can feel a greater appreciation for life while also dealing with anxiety, triggers, trouble sleeping, avoidance, or ongoing heightened alertness. These experiences do not contradict each other.

Yael, for example, shared that alongside the changes she experienced, there are still days when she avoids driving on certain roads or feels more on edge than before. Therefore, it's important not to view growth as a sign that the process of coping is over. Sometimes it exists alongside pain, and sometimes it does not appear at all. In both cases, the response to trauma can be a human and valid one.

Sometimes change comes slowly

Researchers believe that post-traumatic growth does not come from the trauma itself, but from the way people process the experience over time.

After a deeply distressing event, basic beliefs about the world, ourselves, personal safety, or the meaning of life may be shaken. Sometimes, the effort to cope with the questions and emotions that arise after a crisis can eventually lead to internal changes.

For some people, if post-traumatic growth develops, it does not appear immediately after the event. In the early stages, distress may be intense, and only later, as they process the experience and receive appropriate support, changes may begin to appear in their perspectives, relationships, or sense of meaning.

Support from those around us can also play an important role. Having the opportunity to talk about what we have been through, feel that we are being listened to, and not remain alone with the pain can help people process their experiences.

Time is also a significant factor. Post-traumatic growth, when it develops, usually does not appear immediately after an event. It is generally a gradual process, with no fixed timeline and no single "formula" that works for everyone.

You don't have to go through this alone

After difficult events, reactions such as fear, heightened alertness, sadness, trouble sleeping, withdrawal, difficulty concentrating, or avoidance are common human responses. For many people, these feelings gradually lessen over time.

However, it may be helpful to consider seeking professional support when distress continues over time, when it significantly affects daily functioning, work, studies, or relationships, or when the feelings become overwhelming.

Seeking help is not intended to "make us grow," but first and foremost to ease distress, process the experience, and support coping. For many people, talking with a mental health professional can help them better understand what they are experiencing, reduce feelings of isolation, and support the process of coping with trauma.

When coping becomes connection

Post-traumatic growth is usually described as a personal process, but in Israel's reality in recent years, we can also see social expressions of change, connection, and solidarity. Community initiatives, support groups, volunteering, circles of assistance, and mutual aid can be ways in which people and communities try to regain a sense of meaning, belonging, and control in the face of a difficult reality.

Here too, it is important to avoid generalizations. Not everyone experiences connection, meaning, or strength as a result of a crisis, and social growth does not lessen the pain, loss, or heavy toll of these events. However, for some people, the opportunity to act alongside others, offer help, or receive support can be a meaningful part of the coping process.

Hope alongside pain

In conclusion, it is important to emphasize that trauma is not something a person chooses, and growth is not something anyone is required to achieve. At the same time, even after difficult events, moments of connection, meaning, and strength may emerge over time—through internal change for one person, and through mutual support, community, or connection with loved ones for another. It does not always happen, and it does not always happen right away, but the possibility itself can offer a sense of hope.